Gushes forth

All anyone can do is complain and criticize without knowing any full details of my life in the past, it’s details and the circumstances that drove me and motivated me in the decisions I made. In reality, they were very painful experiences which I faced , being criticized to any amount without solutions is a damned act. To make me feel like I made a huge mistake in my life is a momentous statement. I have five children who are the life source of my ill fated past. The future can be brighter as I must learn to accept the past mistakes and be better for it. I have loose ends which I must tidy up. I am not predisposed to the normal financial freedom I had before nor am I at liberty to create a stable environment for myself with my life apart from my children and being in a foreign country which sees me trying to fix up all that went wrong. At this point it is not the time to criticize me but offer support and assistance. I get very emotional and sad when I have to think about being ill treated and lied to. Taken for granted and cheated. And exercising power in the wrong way to make it worse than it already is , all the stumble blocks I face and keep having to jump over, and I have been doing it slowly but surely. Now, I face this horrible critic which in the end I see no purpose in the direction of the conversation or give me any helpful alternatives except to comment that my past was a horrible mistake. I might as well give up and give in, but I see their 5 lovely faces and I gain strength, and hope... and feel blessed knowing that God is fair even in trials and tribulations.

There is no hero.

8/11/2010

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