My Soul, My Life

Rabbana, Yaa Rabbana When the day arrives please release me from the hisab Rabbana Ya Rabbana…I have borne through mishaps too many that have shamed myself Yaa Rabbana wa fuanna wamhuladzi kana mina Yaa Rabbana , How shall I face You, please shelter me from the shame of the day The frightful days , endless only You are aware I am at the door of Penitence, turn me not away My absolute missing and grieving As a body stuck in the Earth alive Screaming and yelling for Your attention A sign That I shall become closer , nearer and safer The shiny moon that reminds me The day must come to see the full moon and gaze Of Mustofa, salallahu alaih wa alih wa salam I loved him , have fallen in love with him And wait to be with him For I feel him close But I want to be closer. Yaa Rabbana Forsake me not For as You sustained me before, please sustain me now and later. You are the Providence The Eternal Infinite

The ghaib The unseen The unknown The unpredictable The ones whom we cannot see and see us In my living room and yours In our spaces and we in theirs In worlds together but apart In some unforeseen times we feel them In some moments we get glimpses The ones that come and go in good we like Not the ones with bad intent The unseen forces abound everywhere The day we become an unseen light The screen between the worlds will open  And we shall see the reality Of all creation lorrainenur-shufiya 2013, July 

The moon is waining, closing, peeping Through her veils she shines her light Then soon as she disappears inside Will she return with a smile Bringing through her doorway the light of the month of the ummah The holy month of Ramadan In which there is No other honour For all muslims living The Mercy,Love and Forgiveness That it brings to those who observe the commands Of fasting prescribed Additional rakaats through the night And recitation of the Holy Al Qur'an From Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala Which Angel Jibril alaihi salam did recite and taught to Our most beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaih alih wa shohbihi wassalam Oh Ramadan, we await eagerly once again To fill the Earth with your special presence Heralding angels all through the month Charting all muslims favoured with the sweetness of fasting A scent likened to musk And the pleasure of the Rabb is awaiting those Whose weakness and thirst Are only for their Lord Oh Holy month of Ramadan, we await you Bringing Al Nuur Kar...

There is a tendency to always try to thwart And for so long this administration has failed The system created has some faults No solutions have been impaled Every time , such antagonism There matey your sarcasm Always, in your face A complexion of hidden grouses Truly, ex-spouses  Are a soul pain as well as zappers How not for a good intention Shouldn't anyone cooperate Instead of regretting when it's too late And none takes responsibilities For the weaknesses Of them that are under their roofs? Why always feel threatened or undermined Just because some of us are more endowed With intellect and wisdom Don't misunderstand and  Learn appreciation That our mutual sacrifices are based on Our time and attention towards a matter Not to shove it to others less capable Why being afraid of those with more knowledge , applying it all Because the fear seeps , this reality is too deep All the mistakes are too sunken That the...

I was down , fallen, tripped I was raised , fed and made fit I was in restrains and chains I became free with love only for You dearly Ya Rabb, how much more thanks , I cannot express Still am fighting with restoring the deen within Still climbing uphill to win Still filling like a bucket with a hole Ya Rabb, Your attention is all I need The call of this incredible creed The blessedness of the one seed That makes us part of the best The part of ones chosen The path of ones whom he loves Because he knows we love him, Even though we haven't seen him Ya Rabb, we  are blinded by this world Ya Rabb, free our eyes from anything but You  And Your beloved  Seal of all Prophets  Allah humma solli ala sayyidina Muhammad  Wa ala alih  Wa shoh bihi was salim.  The day will come and I shudder with fear At the thought of never seeing  I shudder with  emotions that make me feel like death so close The overw...

In thought for many months have I been In observing a less than ideal situation In contracdiction to my own conscious effort to be grateful and happy Seeing the difficulties arising from such a thing At the point in time, when a blessing was bestowed Not knowing be it temporal or forever One important aspect emerged Were the lessons imparted and knowledge increased In time, as situations and circumstance change I see a need for my focus to be redirected A clause for painful decision In which my own happiness I surrender To fulfill the future and their blessings Last night some words in approval were spoken And tonight, a full contracdiction in words A form of curse for misleading or sacrificing A partnership, for the sake of five happiness  And a good future, which Is the Will of God At least, in the end when asked,  I can say, with lowered ego I sent a plea Nothing has been finalised  Prior already full of surprises A s...

May we be endowed with plesantness of personality May we be blessed with patience May we be smiling in times of afflictions And or adversities May our demeanour also be in the form of the loved ones May we learn from their examples and characteristics May we be aware that we have limited capacities,  Unless willed by Him To have further abilities, in our struggles May we forsake depression and thoughts of negative impact May we refrain from asking too much Speaking too much In vain discourses May we continuously remember , that in silence is wisdom May we never be dependent on  others For the state of our inner self For, from within we remember And outwardly, we shall shine When we are faced with banter and pride May we reduce ourselves to humbleness May we be afforded humility May we always know, when to refrain from being humiliated By avoiding circumstances or people That will endeavour,  To always be right. May we a...

Consolation of my soul In my time of wordlessness In my personifying Your Graciousness In my expounding Your Truthfulness In my endless silence of hopefulness In my times of dire tiredness In my endless endeavours to assist In the Bounties of Your Knowledge bestowed How can I word the phrases of understanding When You are the Master of everything So, with deep reflection of silent commiseration I observe a sullen reclamation That my deeds may only beheld by Your Generosity To endow me with such I cannot interpret into words Other than that which You allow me to speak Thereby, hearts guided by the Same may understand without words. lorrainenurshufiya2013

Disparage. Disregarded. Under estimated. Of little value. Really an awful predicament Think well Be positive,echoes, Like unseen gusts of disturbing winds Rustling dust here and there Underlying is a tension To speak of there's no unison There's no one voice There is no parallel We're off now in different directions I am in constant awareness not to drop from my pedestal So, I have stood on a stool Poised to see , just enough I don't need an audience But I shall convey the messages I have taken a back seat I have kept in the shadow To shine inwards is better This seeker needs just one light In the darkness of disparage thoughts Can you see anything at all? We cannot say we love when we do not do enough And we have no sense of pride because we don't give enough We have little sense of respect left because we are too conceited We have dwindled like the candle's light Because we have been careless Where are we heading with thoughts ...

Bismillah Bismillah HiRahman Bismillah HiRahmani Rahiim These words are suffice, begins with the best of words… Your Mercy we need Sufficient are You for me My solitude is for You In my mind, a reunion I miss This world is not part of the basmalah I need Just craving for Your Help Is what I desire Bismillah I rise Bismillah I sit Bismillah I cry Bismillah I sleep And I awake, yet still in this dunya Apart from You Ya Rabb, I am in strife without Your pleasure I am drowning without Your attention Bismillah I call out For without the ba mim lam , Where shall I be? So, You hearken me towards the well of Your knowledge As drops of it falls on my head In my silence, my inner most being Subjects to humility Awaiting, Your destiny for me Your answer for me In my past You showed me wisdom From my faults, The events which keep repeating Over and over again As if to keep me rooted for the extent That I must pass each level To qualify for the next lessons Bi...

So many sad news today Too many sad news everyday Some mentioned on the news Most just aren't It fits a propaganda conspiracy To propagate hate and war Mankind, is limitless when it comes to hatred A greed based desire Flamed by a narsisistic mental condition The need to control Mankind feeds the flames and fan the coals Of man's base animalistic desires Man's wants and needs Ever forgetful of life's temporal state Ever forgetful of being grateful Those that will remain stoic and patient in these difficult times Those that will continue to abide by prayers Those that understand that evil are the ways that man chooses now These will be the ones that are chosen To be winners on a day that nobody knows When it will happen or what time But know this fact, it is not too far away As our beloved Messenger did say It is not far, the distance between the space Of his second and third fingers So many sadness around So many victims abound May we all tak...

Death: a thing we fear, and we try to forget it exists. Death; we shall all have to go through it, face it and move on... Death, be gentle, who says it doesn't hurt to have to be forcefully dragged out, as energy form from the physical form, Death, it seems it feels like when your finger nails are pulled out. Try separating water and flour that has been mixed, that is how difficult it is, for the soul to be extracted. But Death, has no mercy and seeks us all... then to where shall Death take us? What are we here for on this earth? Just to breathe, live and die? Why were we born, to breathe,live and die? To be alive and then, still? To what aim were we created? To where are we supposed to head? To what purpose do we exist? Are our hearts beating only to pump the flow of blood, to breathe, live and then...die? What is it all for? From where did you emerge, before you were a seedling? From what existence were you? Do you remember the time before this? Did you know t...

Assalamu alaikum warahmahtullahi wa barakatuhu, Laailaa ha ilallah MuhammadaRasulallah, Allahumma solli ala sayyidina Muhammad wa ala ali wa shoh bihi wassalim I come from a land far away A land from which I see A land called Dame, a far place From there we dwelled amongst the nation of old I am near the land of Hijaz, a holy place it is I am guardian of this ring I have sent to you This ring is reminder from time passed Of the people from the land Who worked hard and endlessly A people that were faithful To the One Lord To the last Prophet On it says Laa ilaa ha ilallah This time, when life was full of difficulties And turmoil Faith was their strength So, this ring represents A reminder to the people of present times Of the critical situation for both believers and non-believers And many people lost their lives During the times of the Abbasids For a long time this ring has been hidden Over a thousand years And I am older than this ring In my time, I saw t...

To you I am as dead I will not miss you To me it’s as if you never came I have felt as the dead , walking I have felt the stabs of death You have not But you will For now in total release it’s As if I start again I start afresh I throw the rubbish out to sea I start from the beginning again I open a fresh page Your troubles and tests Are just beginning As mine is now ending From this chapter in my life I will face other difficulties but those will be different The longing and yearning will pass As years pass, and the trials you go through Will eventually prove a big lesson for all As I move forward I am waiting for death To find me and That is a destiny we shall all face You have made the difficulties Which I chose to face in my life But you forgot that the choices are mine The pain which will be caused You face now, alone To realise that the pain you caused was unbearable So I have to walk away Alone and with noone I will forget I will not dwell o...

ثَلاثَةٌ هُنَّ المُرُوءَةُ : جُودٌ مَعَ قِلَّة ، وَ احْتِمالٌ مِنْ غَيْرِ مَذَلَّة ، وَ تَعَفُّفٌ عَنِ المَسْألَةِ Nobility is three traits: being generous although you have little to give, tolerating without being humiliated, and abstaining from asking for favors. When you cherish someone you should cherish him moderately for he may be your enemy someday, and when you hate someone you should hate him moderately for he may be your friend someday. ~Imam Ali kw I have pain the size of the entire Universe To which now I drown myself in I surpass all the levels that heightens this pain And now I feel nothing I am nothing compared to this vast void of black darkness No shadows fall where I sit In total surrender now I bear my soul To You, my Lord Nothing will save me nor them No power have I over these blacken souls Who diminish my existence By a swat and flicker I am non-existent The way I was before I came onto this Earth I am prepared to return Non existent As ...

I always wondered about love When as a teen I would dream I would try to visualise the feelings I would try to visualise the face I would dream through songs Or watching romances I would imagine a romance A love with a gallant hero A romantic love Who would be good and nice Whose kisses would never end Whose warmth and hugs never ending We would hardly argue We would compliment one another We would be two bodies , one soul He would be there for me He would cherish me Adore me Love me I always dreamt and wondered About love, I always wondered if true love exists I realise that all love Have different levels That as one passes and another comes We take the best of what we receive And with every receiving and giving We raise ourselves up the ladder We raise our resonance We raise our frequencies We find the love poets write about Movies depict Romance stories describe We need to believe In Love And Love will believe in us ~lorrainenur@2013

“I am watching you.” Everyone knows, or chooses not to know, some join in willingly, others serve to warn, some just blasé, and most just don't care... everyone wants a happy world, yet definitely it ends, whereby they forget about the true happy world, in which is here they need to strive, the fake happy world created amidst wars and injustices, using media to take the reality away, and create a false reality by making all forget that this world is temporal, the temple and stage for the recruiter, so some follow aimlessly, others for a vocation, whilst others fight it off through true religious observances, watching good morals and keeping to the faith, designed to produce healthy souls and energised spirits. Yet, how can people claim, this evil does not exist? when it is clear that it does, the plan is clear and most have no fear. So sad, and devastating for humankind, that rejects true and clear warnings, succumbing instead to ...

In the darkness, quiet night Then sudden heavy breaths, in strife Mumbling and grunting What an uneasiness I look to make some access To calm you To no avail, You toss and turn Still mumbling words incoherently Seems you may be disturbed Then I see an eerie white full figure Of a man who asks me What do I want I feel uneasy about his appearance Was he shielded in a white robe Or white sheet But not so welcoming I think you may have entered the realm of the floating souls Who tried to beckon you in sleep You were unawares, and you ran off Into a wooden house with steps In the rain, in the dark You entered an outer bath area And showered, with rain water running from A wooden pipe A quaint scene Still confusing to me A glimpse of old and new, as you handed me an android Almost forcing me to look at the shiny screen A glare in the darkness I still feel uneasy I wonder, where did you travel to last night? lorrainenur@2013

The tears flow as the pain increases The sadness a spear thrusted inside Ya Rabb, this sadness towards the plight of humanity This sadness towards the events to be unfolded It must be we go through this difficulty To return to You It must be we must suffer at the hands of enemies within humanity Ya Rabb, the sadness for this nation A weeping A cry towards Your Throne Hanging on the edge To plea on behalf Of all the ones suffering with no visible end We wait for the promised one To come at the time of oppression and injustice This is the case now, yet he is not here Must we then go through more horrid wickedness? Ya Rabb, be Merciful to the victims Ya Rabb, in my supplication I hold the sword That banishes all the enemies from the lands Causing destruction and evil intentions Let this plea reach the top May it be heard throughout This month of sadness also for the longing The longing to be back home And this month in sadness just knowing Our beloved was stri...